Monday, August 29, 2011

Dreamer Pt 1

All of my life I have been dreamer.  At the age of 3 I had already determined that I wanted to be a singer.  I drove my parents crazy with my constant singing all of the time.  I was a microphone hog for sure. The love for music and singing was there before I even knew Jesus.  I dreamed of singing as "what I wanted to do when I grew up" often.  When adults would ask me what I wanted to be when I grew up I would often tell them, "I want to be a singer." To which they would reply, "O that's nice but what do you REALLY want to be?" as if my choice wasn't a legitimate choice.  Of course these adults knew something I didn't, it takes a lot of time, patience and consistency to walk out a dream like that AND to get paid to do it is a whole other story.  That desire never left me, even as I grew older. I was very involved at my church singing as much as possible and at school events. As I got older I played trumpet and eventually become Drum Major at my school. I couldn't seem to separate myself from music.  I remember sharing with a teacher of mine during my Junior year in High School that I wanted to be a singer and he laughed.  In very straight forward terms he told me that is was pretty much impossible because singing wasn't a real career.  I heard this from other very well-intentioned adults so I came to the conclusion that maybe I should come back to reality and find a more practical career that paid better.

And settle I did.  I decided my senior year in high school to go to school for business.  I thought it was a safe career to land on and could pretty much be used for anything really.  It paid pretty well I suppose.  As life would have it, because I got married so young, I wasn't able to finish college at that time in my life.  My husband and I needed the income so I went to work at a bank.  At the same time I continued to take a few night classes toward my business degree.  I did well in those classes and seemed to fit in well in the banking industry.  However, after about 2 years of being there, I began to get really anxious.  The Lord began to wake me up in the middle of the night with songs.  I would hear melodies and lyrics in my head so I would go to a piano and work the songs out.  As I keep working this passion for music and songwriting kept getting stronger and stronger as it kept coming to the surface more frequently.

Soon after, I picked up a guitar and learned how to play and my songwriting abilities kept growing.  I began performing in my community and at my church.  The desire to play music and write songs had gotten so strong that I began to despise my day job.  I had to force myself to work.  While at work I would find myself writing songs on scratch pads at my desk and day dreaming about my next 'gig'.  Things kept escalating and I formed my first band.  Our platform began to grow and it seemed like I was on my way to doing this full-time.   I began to really develop myself as a singer and songwriter.  I didn't realize that this would take some 10 years to accomplish!

Walking out my dream didn't happen overnight.  But I can say, it is happening for me now.  After 12 years of writing songs, ministering those songs, developing the gifts and letting God change my character I am finally at a point of reaping my harvest.  It's been an incredibly hard journey, full of lots of breaks, bumps and bruises but God has been faithful to pick me up every time,  even the times that I gave up for a season.  I want to encourage you today not to give up on the dream God has put inside of you, no matter how far away it may seem.  Your dream is not just for you, but others as well.  The dream inside of you was put there by God as a solution for someone else's pain.

I will be sharing more on this in the weeks to come.

Be Blessed and keep dreaming!

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